Monday, January 04, 2010

New Year, Same Problems

I was trying to figure out what, exactly, should be the topic of my first entry of the new year (not to mention the first after a long hiatus). There've been quite a few things that have caught my eye, either positively or negatively, over the past weeks, but I settled on the one thing I can rant about: money.

I feel secure enough to say that at this point in my life I hate money. I hate bills. I hate the yawning gap of money that makes some feel as though they are worth more than others. I hate the lack of money that inspires desperate crimes. I hate that it is money more than anything else that makes me unsure about my future.

An English major isn't a ticket to security; my sophomore thought journalism would perhaps be a stabler option isn't exactly foolproof. Journalism is going through pains to define itself as an entity, and through this process jobs are being lost all over the world. The credibility of journalists has plummeted. Example #1: I don't watch CNN, NBC, or FOX for my news--I watch the Daily Show. And you know what? I trust Jon Stewart and that team more than the mainstream media. Yes, clearly, I have chosen a field rife with possibilities and secure in its foundations.

In ten days, I am expected to be in Washington, D.C., as an intern with a professional publication. Three problems: (1) I don't have a way of getting there. (2) I don't have the ability to pay for the deposit, or the books, or the food. (3) I am probably the least-experienced member of the internship program.

When I learned I was accepted into the program, I presumed that (3) would be my biggest problem, and it did plague me during the introduction season. But that's been pushed aside in the anxiety ring for the unfailingly consistent problem of money. I don't have it. My family doesn't have it. My bank doesn't have it. And I am tired of having a doubtful future because money rules the world.

I'm sighing, right now. I'm not an economist. And I know that right now is difficult for everyone, and far worse for others--in comparison to them, I should have no complaint. I live under a roof and have food to eat. And I know that money has to exist for a multitude of reasons in this world. But I'm sick of it, and sick at the prospect of what should be a great career opportunity being turned into another opportunity to fail financially.

1 comment:

Sarah G. said...

Sonja! I say that you should not doubt yourself by saying you are "the intern with the least experience" on the program. I'm betting that most of what your fellow interns have learned is just book knowledge; I found that out when I was an intern with a newspaper.

Also, I feel what you're saying about money. Expenses in England are twice as much as they are in the U.S., so I've been trying to figure out how to pinch pennies and still have a good time. BUT, I know that God works all things out. We should keep praying.

(Either that, or hope that a rich uncle dies and leaves us millions of dollars. Just kidding. I think...)